Using inclusive language

Editing our script

WALT: revise our writing

In this lesson, we read through and made changes to our script for our film festival movie. In particular, we focussed on making sure our ideas where clearly expressed, with the correct sentence structures and language features.

The lessons this term focus on creating our film for the annual Manaiakalani Film Festival.

Click here to see the extended plan

Lesson reflection: The purpose of this lesson was to refine the script for room sixes film festival movie. Students were able to critique the original script in an attempt to make it more persuasive, clear and concise. It was a great opportunity for me to see whether they could put their knowledge from writing into practise (eg persuasive language, using different sentence lengths, elaborating etc). Students had to think carefully about their choice of words in order to clearly express their understandings and ideas about the teacher strike.

Class site content


This is a copy of what the Google Doc looked like BEFORE the lesson. On the right hand side is the script from Prince Ea's 'Sorry' video. We used this as inspiration to help guide us with writing our own script.

Film Festival - before editing

This is a copy of what the Google Doc looked like AFTER we edited it.. The left hand side is our writing, We jotted down a few camera shot ideas on the right hand side.

Film Festival - after editing

Extra footage

How to finish off our film


Choosing the most effective words and phrases


For this task, students did not create a DLO. These were the students who took part in this lesson

Chelsea Donaldson

cdonaldson@gleninnes.school.nz

Glen Innes School

Auckland, New Zealand


Manaiakalani.org

Manaiakalani Research

Manaiakalani Education Trust

PO Box 18 061, Glen Innes

Auckland, New Zealand